


All the Ways I Love You

by midnighttypewriter



Series: New Definitions [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5 Times, But mostly fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Scars, Sharing Clothes, with a tiny bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-13
Updated: 2014-05-13
Packaged: 2018-01-24 15:14:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1609700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnighttypewriter/pseuds/midnighttypewriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times Steve tells Bucky he loves him (and one time Bucky tells Steve).<br/>---<br/>In my head it takes place in the same 'verse as <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1545572/chapters/3273734">New Definitions</a> but you don't have to have read that to understand what's going on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the Ways I Love You

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into 中文 available: [All the Ways I Love You](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1714529) by [ogawaryoko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ogawaryoko/pseuds/ogawaryoko)



> This was inspired by the fact that I couldn't find a way for Bucky to say those words in New Definitons.

**1.**  
They have been together officially for roughly a month when Bucky insists they all visit the Coney Island. Steve is more than happy to indulge him and make the others come along, up until he realizes that it's very much an excuse for Bucky to embarrass him.

"I've a memory," Bucky says before he launches into a tale of how Steve threw up on the Cyclone once. He goes into a vivid detail and Steve glares at him, then drops his head in his hands and sighs.

"You're so lucky I love you," he mutters. 

Bucky rubs his back with his right hand. "Yeah, I know." Steve isn't looking, but he can tell from his voice that Bucky's grinning. 

**2.**  
"I love you," Steve whispers, his lips brushing against the skin of Bucky's back. 

He kisses and caresses down Bucky's spine and takes care to avoid the scars. There're many scars covering Bucky's body. Steve knows the origin of some of them: the scaring around the metal arm, the place where the Hydra tracker used to be, the circular marks where bullets went in. Some, he has never heard the history behind. Any time Steve has tried touching any of them, Bucky flinched and the atmosphere would be destroyed. It has taken a while before Steve realized that it isn't because Bucky doesn't want Steve to see them but instead because he doesn't want to be reminded of them himself. Steve doesn't mind them, but Bucky does; he doesn't want them touched and Steve doesn't want to push. He loves everything about Bucky, every inch of his body and every brush of his skin against Steve's, but it will take time for Bucky to grow to love himself as much as Steve loves him, if he ever does. 

"I love you," Steve repeats and places a kiss between two scars on Bucky's right shoulder. "You're so beautiful." 

"You're a sap," Bucky mutters. He twists under Steve, turning to lie on his back. His eyes are dark with desire and he cups Steve's jaw with his hand, pulls him down for a kiss. 

"I'm an artist," Steve corrects once he breaks away. He explores Bucky's chest with his gaze, unashamed of the lust he feels. There're as many scars as on his back and these Bucky can see when he looks into a mirror. But where Bucky sees imperfections, Steve sees the history of a brave man who has fought his way back out of hell. He understands there's pain and shame behind them, but he wishes he could redefine them the way Bucky has redefined his arm and his code name. 

"Well, I'm a soldier," Bucky says. He grabs Steve's hands and places them onto his own chest, no care for the scarred tissue. "And I want to be fucked like one. Now."

It doesn't mark a magical twist. Bucky's still self-conscious about his scars, still sometimes pulls away when Steve's fingers or lips brush against them. 

But he allows Steve to find ways to show him that he loves everything about him. 

**3.**  
They agree to make their relationship public. At first, Steve considers another press conference. They don't really like those, however, either of them, and also if he is going to let the world know he is in a relationship with another man, he wants to do it in a way that signals that it's not much different from what Tony and Pepper, or Clint and Natasha, have. 

So one day, instead of placing his arm around Bucky's shoulders in a manner that could be mistaken for friendly, he reaches for Bucky's left hand and laces their fingers together. Bucky gives him an odd look, but then relaxes. He doesn't even flinch when somewhere close a camera flashes. 

"I'm not really into public hand-holding," he admits later, in the privacy of their bedroom.

Steve smiles at him sheepishly. "Thank you for playing along anyway," he says, and puts his phone on silent because he doesn't want to deal with the aftermath of the public display just yet. 

Bucky circles his waist with his arms and kisses the spot behind his ear. "I take it that was a part of a masterplan?"

"I just want the world to know I love you." 

It isn't so simple, of course, and for weeks afterwards Steve's love life is the only thing anyone interviewing him is curious about. They ask Steve, because Bucky simply glares at them until they leave him alone. It's annoying and exhausting and invasive. But every time he receives a letter from someone thanking him for giving them courage and hope, he knows it's worth it. 

**4.**  
"Your feet are cold," Steve complains when Bucky's crawls under the blanket, but he is too tired to turn around.

"I'm hoping you warm them up," Bucky replies, rubbing his cold feet against Steve's calves on purpose.

"Jerk," Steve says, but he grabs Bucky's right wrist blindly and brings his hand to his mouth to kiss his knuckles. "Where have you been, anyway?"

"Assignment," Bucky says and there is no indication he will offer any further information on the topic.

"Why didn't I know?" Technically, Steve isn't Bucky's commanding officer anymore. He is considered the leader of the Avengers, but there isn't much official hierarchy among the costumed heroes, and Bucky readily accepts missions from Fury or Hill. Sometimes he discusses them with Steve, in the moments when he feels like he needs a moral compass, but often it only takes mentioning Hydra to get Bucky onboard. 

Bucky kisses Steve's shoulder. "You'll sleep better." 

Steve sighs. He presses his lips against Bucky's hand again. There's a faint scent of soap. "I love you," he says, because he does, because he understands that sometimes they both have to do things that are dirty and questionable, and because it's a good enough way to mark the conversation finished and Bucky's explanation satisfactory. "Your cold feet, not so much." 

Bucky chuckles and uses his assassin flexibility to run his foot all the way up to the inside of Steve's knee. He earns himself an undignified squeal. 

**5.**  
The first time Bucky wears any of Steve's clothes, it's because none of his shirts are clean. The t-shirt is Captain America blue and much too large for him. It shows more of his shoulders than it covers and slips to one side when he moves, and he declares he won't be leaving the apartment before the washing machine spits out something that actually fits him.

Steve laughs at that, but he is too distracted by the sight. The t-shirt is the only thing Bucky's wearing and though it's longer than any of his own, it doesn't hide much. Steve distantly remembers he was planning to have breakfast, but that's no longer a priority.

He pushes Bucky against the counter. "Fuck," he breathes, "I love you like this."

"Yeah?" Bucky's grinning and there's a challenge in eyes. "Show me."

 **+1**  
Neither of them is particularly fond of formal events. Bucky is uncomfortable with all the people, with small talk, with flashing cameras. "Just stay close," he says when Steve asks whether he is okay. Yet he somehow manages to offer people smiles and jokes, even though his face darkens the moment he thinks no one is looking.

No longer officially military, they wear suits instead of their formal uniforms, and Steve thinks that perhaps the sight of Bucky in this attire is one of the few nice things about the evening. The other is being pulled to the dance floor by him.

"I don't know how to dance," Steve says quietly and Bucky smirks.

"You need to learn at some point," he answers and then pulls Steve close to whisper in his ear: "If we dance, no one will talk to us. If I didn't love you as much as I do, I'd kill everyone by now and run away."

Steve knows the words about murder are mostly not serious and so he focuses on the rest of what Bucky has just said. "You've never said that before."

"Said what?" Bucky pulled away to arrange Steve's arms properly and lead him around the dance floor, Steve's steps a little awkward and far from graceful.

Steve shrugs. "That you loved me." He says it matter-of-factly, because it actually doesn't matter that Bucky has never said the words. Steve has never needed to hear them, because he knew. 

Bucky simply arches an eyebrow at him. "You just weren't listening right."

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on Tumblr: [midnighttypewriter](http://midnighttypewriter.tumblr.com/).


End file.
